when I didn’t die

pneumonia in Nevada in the snow.   frozen diapers
outside on the line.   I got over it but it left me with
a leaning into cough.   mother said, never happened,
but.   that’s not what my body says to me.

when I could’ve been trampled by elephants.   there
was this guy, two, three times a week he’d rub a stone
on the street corner lamp post.   why so, I asked of him.
to keep the elephants away, he said.   some thought him
odd, but gotta say, yea, no elephants, not one.
when that relationship became a fork.   you know the
one.   the one that went the other way.   like smoke,
me following.   felt like dying, didn’t it.   over and over.
some seeds, harder than others are.   I didn’t die.

when being lost felt like being dead.   but,
       I didn’t die when I died.

every day is being on the brink.

     now.   still now.

when words arrived like leaves.
when I was afraid.
when I smiled.
when you smiled at me.   I didn’t die.
     look, really look

Pneumatic Arts Flying Trapeze Arise Festival 2019
Cogi Haggerty   Nat Street   Blair Aued   Jordan Tribble

Live,  Love,  Fly   an act called, “Consciousness”
if you’re wondering, poem came first, then the pictures.

8 thoughts on “when I didn’t die

  1. the frozen diapers set the scene – and now on the brink recalls Wordsworth:
    “Shades of the prison-house begin to close Upon the growing Boy, But he beholds the light, and whence it flows, He sees it in his joy; …At length the Man perceives it die away,
    And fade into the light of common day”


    1. Thank you Laura. Does one know what beautiful things will become, or same said for ugly things. We don’t know. Maybe never. So it comes down to trust, do we think?


  2. “when being lost felt like being dead. but,
    I didn’t die when I died.”
    Oh, this is beautiful and I feel it so deeply right now. So many of the huge stresses in my life lately have felt a bit like a death, but I didn’t die when I died, did I?

    Liked by 1 person

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